That is the question, or is it?

S ince this is our first blog post I feel like there is a need to explain how this idea came about. I remember sitting in a hipster bar in town after movie and dinner with Faithful opportunist (FO), talking about relationships over beer with punny names. We often have different opinions on things and it was particularly strong over this question: to sleep or not to sleep on first dates? After much heated debate we couldn’t come to a conclusion. We have been thinking about starting a blog, and so I thought, why not start with a debate on whether it’s a good idea to have sex on first dates?

To sleep or not to sleep (on first dates)

Well I have to admit I haven’t been in the dating game for long. After getting out of a long-term relationship for a while, I decided to try online dating and managed to hit it off with the first person I met on an app, I did go out on dates with other people too, but I already fell for the first guy.

Anyway, when I was going on dates with people I met online, I had this “no sex on first dates” rule, and I was not afraid to let my dates know about it. I just wanted to make it clear upfront. So why did I have this rule? I’m sure I didn’t invent this by myself, but my reason behind was quite simple – I wanted to make sure that my dates wanted to see me at least once again so I know they are not just after a hookup.

As random as my rule might have seem at the time, as I read on about relationships, it makes even more sense to me. I have seen more than one dating advice column say that you should sleep with a guy only when he is committed to you, if you’re looking for a relationship, that is. Some might say that it’s men’s instinct to hunt, and hence you have to make them chase.

My theory is that men’s ultimate goal in a relationship is to have sex – I’m not saying they don’t want other things, but sex is definitely a goal for them. (more…)