How do you perceive conflict in your relationship? How do you handle it when it comes up? How effectively do you and your partner discuss issues of conflict?

One of the traps many couples fall into is discussing (or, in some cases, jumping from discussion right to “fighting about”) surface-level examples of underlying problems.

For example, perhaps a couple argues regularly because Lovebird A doesn’t help with tasks around the house without Lovebird B asking them to do it. The issue continues to come up repeatedly because they’re discussing something very specific (emptying the dishwasher, taking out the garbage) rather than the underlying concern: Lovebird B doesn’t feel a sense of partnership in taking care of their home. (more…)